Stuck

     It's hard if you don't have any idea what to do and how to things...

     #stuck

Eyes

                The eyes are the windows to our souls.

                When we look at each other’s eyes, we take a sneak peak at each other’s soul. And I think God has a very good reason why our eyes are positioned under the forehead, just right below our eyebrows, and why we have two instead of just one. They are beautifully and perfectly positioned on our faces.

                But, if they were placed somewhere else in our body, I think it should be at our palms. Huh, I can just imagine what eye shades or glasses would look like.

                Seriously, though, I think it would be incredible if we will have them placed on our palms. Our hands are able to rotate 360 degrees, front and back, and so we’d also be able to see 360 degrees without really moving our head or our whole body. And, when they were on our palms, we may get rid of danger more quickly. One eye on the left, while one is on the right, and then we’ll rotate them to the opposite ways making a 360 degree-turn, allowing us to see things from all directions. I think that’s going to be really awesome. 

I Am A Chocolate

*Choose an object. List down reasons you think that object represents you. From your list of reasons, choose the most powerful, the one which conveys the strongest image of you. Then make a list of things that support this main image and describe how this contribute to the you you are.

                 

                I am a chocolate bar.

                First of all, it’s sweet, and I am. Sometimes, it’s bittersweet.

                Second, it’s healthy. I think I am. I don’t really get sick really often. I'm kidding. But seriously, I think I am healthy in a way that I treat my friends with sincerity. In other words, I am not a hypocrite. (I think).

                Third, it’s a source of energy. According to nutritionist, this has a lot of sugar, and sugar gives energy. It keeps people alive, and kicking. And I am energetic. I sometimes start the fun whenever my friends and I get together. I can be the sweetest chocolate you’ve ever tasted!

                I’d like to think that I should highlight my being bittersweet as a chocolate.

                People misinterprets my strong personality as something negative; that I may sometimes be possessive, or over protective, bossy or something like that. I admit, I may overreact sometimes, but this is because I want everyone that I love to be safe and not make foolish decisions like I did. I want them to be better than me, or be not like me at all, because, I’ve been a mess. I’ve done many things I should have not, and I have not done a lot many things I should have. So, yes, I’m not going to deny that I am bittersweet in this sense. But please give me a chance. I just know this kind of love.

Trainer Hopeful

                I want to take my 4-day training sessions with my fellow TDP (Training Development Program) trainees as the highlight of my life for this month – September. It was a fun-filled learning experience as we were able to acquire basic knowledge about how to handle a class of adults who may come from different walks of life, with different priorities in life, with different skill and will levels. Although the training was not a guarantee for the position, TDP’s will be the first in line when openings come.

                I’ve wanted to be a teacher. I always think that whatever useful knowledge I have, I should share to people, not because I know, but because this may be helpful for them. So when the opportunity came knocking at my door, I took it – with open hand. I was on the verge of giving up that time. I already handed in my resignation letter to my team leader. But when the program opened, I took the chance. I did not expect anything. I was ready to go, but I was chosen, and this held me on. And now, I’m on my way.

                Now, I need to ponder on many things. I need to ask myself loads of questions like: Shall I pursue my studies this time? Or shall I just focus on the program and wait for that shot at the position?  

"Disastrous Blessing in Disguise"

           I could not think of any other words to describe it if electricity was not discovered. I mean, humankind has relied upon this discovery for almost everything! Probably, if no one has figured this one out, there could be:  

1.      No TV. No news. No ABS-CBN or GMA or BBS or NAT GEO, etc.

2.      No computers: NO facebook, twitter or instagram.

3.      No Cellphones. No selfies!

4.      No stars. No KathNiel or JaDine!

5.      No radio. No Energy FM or Power91!

6.      No Youtube. No BuzzFeed. No Youtube sensations!

7.      No malls. What misery!

8.      No refrigerators. We’ll have to expect tons of spoiled food every day!

9.      No ice cream! What a sad life!

10.  No ice – for drinks. Tsk. Gulping on any of it will not be very satisfying.

11.  No LRT. Good luck with the traffic, Manila!

12.  No other appliances. Life will be harder, especially for people who have been used to “plug-push and go!”

I think I am fortunate for being able to experience living without much use of electricity. We used to gather fire woods to use in cooking our food, and we do it every single day – even to this very day. We experienced walking some kilometers just to be where we have to be. We never got used to the vanity of “picture-takings” and so, we can really live without selfies. Yeah, now that I think about it, we can actually possibly live without it. But for this generation, I doubt if they can. We are too busy on gazillion of things these days and we have electricity to aid us in making things faster and easier so we can more things at the same time.

            I’m not saying it’s bad or anything like that, I’m just saying that electricity, like everything else in this world will – whether we like it or not – eventually pass by. If we rely on electricity this much, then if it’s gone, we will inevitably have hard time coping up.

#creativewritingSept14

Call me hopeless romantic - I don't care (because only very few know that I am, so, it does not really matter). But one of the best poems for me is How Do I Love Thee or Sonnet 43 from Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnets from the Portuguese. 

How do I love thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

And here's my own poem starting from its last line: (Hope you like it! :))

Love is Forever by Me

I shall but love thee better after death
for even then I will be with you;
we will share the sweetest heavenly scent
of love in its purest form and shape; one that is infinite.
I shall be with you forever,
I'll hold your hand 'till the very end
I will shout it to the world, I'll let them see
that life has been worth living, for you are with me.
Death may put an end to our lives; 
may kill us both and take our breaths,
But love does not die, so do our spirits
it lives forever, and it dwells in our deepest.... 
For we crossed all boarders, crossed all seas
and ended up in each others' arms.
When death has brought us up to this,
My love will not change - and so will I. 
I will remain loyal to you, for I LOVE YOU with all my life.

#creativewritingSept14

I like Me

I've considered it overrated to say,

"you need to love yourself first before you love others," or "it's okay to be selfish at times," or you're beautiful just the way you are," all those things people say for us to feel better.

Well, the truth is, people will say and do things that sometimes, we come to dislike because we expect that they say or do something else. The secret is NOT in the words of other people; it lies within the deepest part of our souls - to accept and embrace our imperfections and see if we can do something about them or we'll just have to let them be, because, like it or not, not everything about us is PERFECT and BEAUTIFUL. I'm saying this to myself: "I'M LIKING ME AND I DON'T CARE IF NO ONE ELSE WILL. I DON'T LIVE FOR THEM, THEREFORE, I DON'T NEED TO IMPRESS THEM.!"

#creativewritingSept9

Strong

      Many people have asked me how I am able to survive manage my time in school and at work; how I still manage to still have energy to do both.
      In my mind, I've wanted to answer, "You don't have any idea how much I want to give up on one of these!" But I don't tell them these. Instead, I consider my way of sharing to them God's goodness to me. I have made this my of witnessing God's love. I will forever be grateful for the strength He has given to me to be able to do all these, and more. I know there will me consequences for "overusing" my physical body, but I know God is God even of this body, for this is His temple. And so, I can pray that He will continue to give me the strength I need everyday as I continue to fulfill my dreams.

#creativewritingSept4

I am in Love!

    Yes, I think I am. I have fallen. I think, he's not the right one for me, but I just can't help but fall - stupid heart!!!
    So, today, I had hard time sleeping (again) and I found him as the "main" reason. So, just like old times, to tire myself, I made another almost "corny" very short poem for him. Here it is:

I'm loving your lips, your chin, 
And your skin; your everything!
And your hair, your eyes, your smile; 
You make my world go rolling!
I've wanted to stop
but my heart just keeps on throbbing
It wouldn't stop, it wants to keep hoping; 
it wants to keep LOVING.

   And I think, I'll turn this into a lyric poem, soon.

   Watch out for it. ;)

#creativewritingSept3

"Forever"

There's no such thing as "forever" in this world. If we base it on the Bible, everything in this world WILL pass away. Only the things that are not of this world; like God and His word is worthy of the adverb FOREVER. (Matt. 24:35 "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.") Thus, loving too much what the world offers is pointless. But loving the people around us is worth our time. For God is Love, and God is forever.

Good morning. :)

Sick

I've been seek for a week. I have colds and cough. The cough is causing me more trouble. I got sore throat because of it. I've been dozing off because of the medicines I've been taking.

I hope to be back in the game real soon. So help me God. =)

#creativewritingSept2

I Can't Yet

    I know I promised to not bother him anymore; to not care for him anymore; to not ask for any more than what we have now; to not love him more than I love him now - but I can NOT. I just can't yet. People say he's not worthy of all these from me and my brain agrees with them. But my heart is stubborn; stupidly stubborn. It just doesn't want to stop waiting, caring, and  loving him.

    I hope one day, it's going to be easy for me to just stop all these, because I have to; because it is necessary; because my heart needs it. But for now, not yet.

#creativewritingAug25

Blank

    I am just staring at nothing. I know I'm thinking of something which I think does not really matter.

    I'm tired. I'm stressed.

    I'm sick of this life! I feel like I am deteriorating by the moment.

    I want to move away! I want to have something new! Something that I really want!

    ... but I don't really know what I want.

     I know it's crazy to be speaking like this. But I got to speak my mind out even if there's really nothing inside. Or, maybe, I just want to heard.

Letting It All Out

        Today, I told him what I really wanted to tell him for so long, and more. I just felt at ease as I told him everything. But I don't think that was it. I think there are still details I was not able to tell him.

        But what's important is, he now knows - that I care for him and that he is very special to me. He has, somehow, changed my life and made it very exciting. He made it really fun. Although it was not in all good, but at least, I get to experience things I was not able to experience before. Because, before a diamond becomes a diamond on a rich woman's ring, it is first a gem in a dirty rock with no perfect shape.

#creativewritingAug24

10 Reasons Why I AM the Best Choice

1. ... because I know and I would strive to know first before doing anything.
2. ... because I can. When given the task and I'm really focused in it, I make sure that no matter what happens, I will make it. With God's guidance, I will deliver.
3. In romantic relationships: I am the best choice because I can be a very good partner and lover.
4. I am very loyal. I'd do everything for you specially when you already have my trust. I will never betray you, intentionally. ;-)
5. I know how to appreciate things and people that deserve it.
6. I speak my mind in the right place and time. I've learned to not yell at people anywhere without reason.
7. I am a good friend. I am a sincere friend. You can only hear the truth from me. I know no pretensions and hypocrisy.
8. I am not very choosy. I eat whatever is prepared for me (almost all), I do things even if I'm not prepared for it when there is no other choice, and I perform the task even if I don't really feel like doing it for the sake of the people that need me to do it.
9. I am responsible; yes. :)
10. I am a true Christian; imperfect, but always striving to be perfect.

#creativewritingAug21

10 Qualities of My Future Partner

1. He SHOULD be God-fearing. He must have a strong relationship with the Lord and it should be visible.
2. He must be strong; physically, mentally, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually. He should be someone who can take care of me, love me and provide for me and our future family.
3.  He SHOULD be humble; before his family, before other people and before God. He should be respectful and be respected not just because of his name or because of what he has done but because Christ can be seen in him.
4. He SHOULD be responsible. He must know how to think and act as a brother, a father, a son, a husband, a lover and a friend all at the same time.
5. He SHOULD be a quiet type; just to make a contrast- to have balance. I am already talkative. (Laugh)
6. He SHOULD be intelligent enough to make a good conversation with anyone he would talk to and intelligent enough to handle things when they can't be managed anymore, specially me.
7. He SHOULD be sweet and caring; I just like it.
8. He SHOULD be my friend  that I can have fun with and be crazy with, even around other people. He should match my energy!
9. He SHOULD have a green thumb. He should be able to teach me how to plant and grow them.
10. He will love me for who I am; accept me and my imperfections and will never leave me even when I am down, and the situations are at its' worst. He will give me courage. He will be God's voice of comfort for me. He will be my partner in everything.

#creativewritingAug20

10 Things That Make Me Smile

1. The mountains, the sunset and sunrise.
2. Children.
3. Ice cream, spaghetti and lasagna. (Hmmmm!)
4. My Purple Parasol team (Wedding Coordinating team I work as an Asst. for) specially my boss, Ate Rona.
5. Cute little violet and pink stuff
6. James Reid, Enrique Gil, and Ryan Rems (Mr. Rock n' Roll to the world)!!!
7. Drummers and guitarists.
8. When I see my crush, or when I hear his name or when I hear him speak...
9. When I see my friends and whenever I'm with them...
10. When I see the whole of my family worship together...

#creativewritingAug19

Analogy of Love and Relationship

“The world  is a grocery store…”

By: Ellyn Rose B. Alarcio

“Getting into a relationship is like going to a grocery store to buy the ingredients you need for a perfect menu you want to prepare for dinner. You have a list, and a budget. The list is God’s guide on the kind of person and relationship He wants us to be with and get into, and the budget represents our lives. The world  is a grocery store. As you look for the things that you NEED, you will be enticed by other UNNECESSARY things and you will be tempted to buy them even if it’s not on your list, thus, you will have to decide: buy those things you DON’T NEED before the ones on the list and mess up with your budget, or stick to the list, be sad a little, but go home with all you’re ingredients completed and with contentment?”

          Today, whether teenagers, young adults, or adults – everyone becomes interested when hearing or reading anything about love. Do you? Well, maybe because most of us have gone through the process of waiting, loving, forgiving, hurting, coping, and moving on. But has it ever crossed your mind: what if I have listened to my Mom? What if I took my bestfriend’s advice? What if I did not hastily got into that relationship because I was just attracted? What if I listened to God’s words?

                God’s words in I Corinthians 13:4 say, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” God has already given us the idea about what true love is. All we need to do is “be patient and wait for Him (Ps. 37:7)” and and His plans which can only be good for us (Jeremiah 29:11). God does not want us to live a life in  pain and with so many regrets, so He guides us through our parents, sometimes thru our relatives and at times thru our closest friends. But it saddens me to say that most of us get too excited to experience the beauty of this thing so-called LOVE that we jump into things which eventually will make us regret, causing our hurts to get wounded and get scarred. But what’s worse is, we think that we are only able to cope up when we have someone beside us – as in a relationship with the opposite sex; for some of us we think that this is the only escape from the pain. Well let me tell you the truth: IT IS ONLY GOING TO MAKE THINGS WORSE. The more we get ourselves involve in an intimate relationship with one of the two having wrong motives, we’ll only damage our hearts further.

            So, I suggest, let’s all go back to the basics. Let’s know first what we really NEED in our lives: a lover, a husband, a father/mother to our children – or a PARTNER more than anything else, who was custom-molded by God’s own hands to fit our personality and has been given the capability to accept us and love us for who we are, support us when we feel like backing down, and will be with us through sunny or stormy day?  Then, pray and wait… PATIENTLY.

10 Ways to Make My Life Better

1. I'll have to become more intelligent...
2. I'll have a better paying job that I love...
3. I'll finish paying for motorcycle...
3. I'll get my own gadgets; laptop and professional camera...
4. My siblings are able to help me support the family...
5. I'll go to farther and more beautiful places in the Philippines.
6.  I am able to bring my family with me.
7. I have more time to serve my church.
8. I have more than enough time spent with the Lord and reading His word.
9. I stay with my friends for a longer period of time...
10. Someone is able to love me for who I am, accept my character and love my imperfections, both physical, mental  and spiritual.

#creativewriting

10 Reasons Why my Life is Beautiful

(for Monday, 08-17-2015)

1. I have a complete family and I have siblings. .
2. I am full of energy; therefore I can do what I want.
3. I have a job.
4. I am very optimistic.
5. I am able to create my own song and sing them.
6. I can play instruments.
7. I'm able to travel.
8. I believe in LOVE.
9. I am surrounded by friends with different personalities.
10. I was given the opportunity to accept Jesus Christ as my one and only Savior; my Creator, Father, Redeemer and Friend.

:)
#creativewriting

Insecurities

Yes, people say I'm not ugly, that I'm pretty and that I got all the characteristic of a "close to perfect" girl, but I still can't seem to believe it. I'm sill convinced that everyone is better than me; more beautiful, more talented, more skillful. I still can't accept the fact that God has only given me this much and has given other ladies more than what I have.

But I don't blame HIM. Someday, when all is already clear to me - my purpose in this world - I will have no more insecurities. I'll be content with what I have and be happy with them. I'll be complete as a person and will not ask for more, but only what's enough and worthy to have.

"Bubble"

God knows how much I want to let this out, but I'm trying my best not to, for my sake and his'.

I've always wanted to give up and scream it at his face, "What do you really want from me? why don't you say a word? You once said you've got something for me, but why did it change? I'm not playing games on you, so I hope you don't play with me too." 

It is really hard to - I don't want to say FALL IN LOVE - "feel" something very awkwardly special for someone who does not even say what he feels about you. I have  been very stupid to let him in me and let him take over every part of me piece by piece. I'm in a maze right now, not knowing which way to go to escape this mind-wrecking, a heart-tearing dilemma. The memories we shared is like a shattered glass that I pick up out of insanity and wound myself without minding it. This feeling I'm feeling for him right now is overly excruciatingly painful that I want to bathe myself clean and then drown in the sea of nothingness and just... disappear.

#bubble

Me

  This photo was taken more than 2 years ago at the "The Big Tree"  at Canlaon City. I was rappelling down the century-old Balete tree when my supervisor/friend/ate took this photo of me. This is my most favorite photo.

   I consider this photo as the best photo of me because it shows how simple I am; my joys, my adventures, my life, my needs and wants. I didn't have to fake a smile on this photo because I was happy, as far as I can remember. I felt really complete during this time; I had a very good relationship with my Lord, a caring family and crazy, fun-loving friends, a good-paying job and  I had someone who loved me as a woman. (I think you know what I mean). Yes, I was really happy this time. I felt - somehow - complete. 

   I didn't stay happy though. That is a fact. Things happen that brought me down and made me sad and discouraged at life. But whenever I see this picture, I'm always reminded of this: I make my own happiness. Happiness isn't something that I live for but something that I can always CHOOSE to be. Life may throw me all those bullc**** at my face but I have the reason to remain happy; It is my PURPOSE. I know I have one, and I know I am still in the process of discovering it, and whatever it is going to be, I will be glad and will rejoice in it.

Demons

I can't speak my mind!

I don't know why, but instead of saying out loud or posting it anywhere in social media, I just keep m thoughts inside my head. I think it's better to conceal my feelings rather than bursting in and say them out loud and cause any sort of "problem". I think, I just don't want to create my very own "demons". I'd rather play safe than be in a situation I'd regret and cry on. Never. :)

"Emo"

I don't know how to call it, but I think this is a kind of "emotional disturbance". My emotions are being stirred by someone I should not be attracted to! Tsk. I feel like I'm having hard time managing my feelings about "him".

But actually, I'm not. I'm OK. I've got my Lord, Savior and Friend guiding me. Everything in this world including this feeling I'm feeling now will soon fade away. I just have to have strength to face it and not fall into it.

So help me God.